Loving YOU

So I have really been slacking with the blogging portion of my own “happiness project”. Trying this whole blogging thing has been a challenge one because my grammar stinks but more than that is time.




This month’s focus has been LOVE. In the book her focus is marriage, love & fighting right. One importance that I think is left out in this chapter is the ability to truly love YOU. With out loving yourself how can you fully love others? I personally have battled this. You start the day with a positive attitude and then if you do something that day for example yell at the kids or moan and groan at the grocery check out line that’s taking forever you may see that the bad attitude is haunting you to the point it brings you down. Why did I yell like that? Why did I act so ugly? I should have spoke differently… etc… Then you hurt & and get down on yourself and your day can be ruined by one small action that you hated. I am a firm believer that grumbling is a voice of complaint and hinders your attitude and your actions.



“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.”

♥Lucille Ball



The loving side of yourself will help you through these small challenges. Instead of beating yourself up all day, take the approach that the next time I speak my voice will be more loving and calm. .



When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.



Loving yourself can be hard. I know personally for me I don’t won’t to be selfish.

Here are 17 ways I would like to share by Evelyn Lim for how to love yourself that I have found helpful and a perfect balance.



1. Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all your “flaws”. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

2. Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes. If you find that you criticize yourself often, make an effort to stop the self criticism.

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ.” — unknown

3. Be Kind And Positive. When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Because of such thoughts, you naturally undertake empowering actions that support your development.

4. Acknowledge Your Effort. It’s not always about winning or having success in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you’ve done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.



5. Let Go Of Worry. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that! Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then ask the Universe for your desired outcome and let things work out on their own. Things will come to be, if they are meant to be.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” — Epictetus quotes (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)

6. Trust Yourself. Have confidence in your abilities. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself, for as long as you put your heart to it. You can also support yourself by visualizing desired outcomes.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

Benjamin Spock quotes (American Pediatrician and Author, 1903-1998)

7. Forgive Yourself. If you have made mistakes in the past that had caused you to feel less worthy, then you need to forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so there really is no need to beat yourself up over them. Or if you’ve been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma, learn to forgive yourself.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Lewis B. Smedes quotes

8. Be Truthful To Yourself. Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy. If you are sad, acknowledge the sorrow. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel provides a good guide to what your thoughts are. And as we all know, thoughts can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.



9. Grow Spiritually. When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself is an automatic thing. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. How to not love yourself in the process?

10. Make Positive Affirmations Everyday. Post affirmations that can help raise your self esteem everyday. For instance, say this to yourself “I love and accept myself completely and unconditionally.” Read your affirmations out loud several times a day.

11. Express Gratitude. Express gratitude for the person that you are. For instance, cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Also, feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well, and fully capable of making a difference in your life.



12. Nurture Your Dreams. Why deny yourself your dreams? When you nurture your dreams, you would love the life that you are leading. Every moment that you live is a joy because you are expressing yourself fully.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. —Mark Twain

13. Boost Your Self Confidence. Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your sense of Self. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem.

14. Relax. You need to give yourself space to take breaks every now and then. If you spend your time working, without paying attention to your health, it also means that you do not love yourself well enough to take care of your own body. Fill your time with silence, soothing music and visions of beauty; anything that nourishes your Soul.

15. Have Fun. Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be an enjoyable. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.

16. Look After Your Body. It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect, love and care. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root causes of conditions like eating disorders, obesity or even terminal diseases.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”

Jim Rohn quotes (American Speaker and Author. He is famous for motivational audio programs for Business and Life. )





17. Learn To See Beauty. When you learn to see beauty in every thing, you will also see beauty in yourself. Hence, stop to smell the flowers. Notice everything. Feel everything. The pink blush of the flowers in your garden, the greenness of the plains, the whisper of the gentle wind, or the myriad hues of an evening sky.



Here is a good affirmation to read and reflect on…..

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”

Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)

Self Awareness

Stressed, Frustrated – Doubting my abilities!







So this week has been a bit stressful with a very sick hubby, a sick neighbor/friend with pneumonia and me not feeling all that well either. I have found myself so stressed out with the daily to-dos, the home projects still not perfectly at an end and the in-laws coming to stay the weekend. The house has been a total chaos for 2weeks now…. I have felt a little out of place in my routine of things. Of course nothing seems perfect as I feel it should be.






Looking forward to next week being a better week and hopefully more structure!!







Self-Awareness



Perfection



A tree is no less perfect because it is a seedling. A tiny infant is no less perfect than a grown up. It is perfection itself. Because it cannot do a thing, does not know a thing that does not make it somehow less perfect.



A child makes mistakes. She stands. She toddles.

She falls. She stands again, a bit wobbly, hanging on to her mommy’s leg. Does that make the child imperfect?



I tell you it is just the opposite! That child is perfection itself, wholly and completely adorable.



So, too, are you.

Visual Chaos No More!

As my hubby and I finish some much needed home projects I finally realized I have an addiction to not only purses and shoes for myself and the girls but an addiction to what becomes - “freebie clutter”. After watching him spend a day on building organizational items for our closet and the mountains of clothes, purses, shoes & unlimited amounts of make-up, pens, lotions, jewelry and the “clothing for the kids in the not so near future”.etc… It was all tucked away in the “I might like this someday” corners which was placed upon every open spot of my bedroom yesterday. I have to admit when I went up stairs a few times to see if he needed help or to see how far he was with the project- the mountains in my room did not seem so bad until……..







This morning was a slow day to get moving, (even though I stuck to my 10pm bedtime) with the littlest one not feeling good and me as well I figured it to be a good time to read. As I open my copy of The Happiness Project I felt a little behind in my resolutions. A little that the mountains were very much real craziness! As I read further I did not feel alone and I stumbled upon the term “freebie clutter”. I felt a huge sense of relief knowing I could put a term to this craziness. – The too often a friend calls and says I am getting rid of clothes that my kids can’t wear anymore – do you want them? I say sure! Well not anymore. I have realized that the clutter is more stress then the spending over budget to buy the kids new clothes! I have also found that less is more. Fewer things to choose from bring faster choices and the will to make it all work.






Next on my list to tackle is more visual clutter! Focusing on the “dump zones” (and believe me I think every room in my home has its own “dump zone”!)






Things I will be trying? “Virtual move” – walk around my house and ask myself if I were moving would I pack this or get rid of it? For my sentimental reasons to keep things I will use the tip “Only if I’m still using it”!






I have high hopes to finish this before this month is at an end...










Happiness Tip of the Day:


If you can’t find something, clean up! One of life’s small pleasures is to return something to its proper place!

"My" 12 Commandments:

1. Be more spiritual/more devotional time



2. Play more/Laugh more – (with the kids / embrace non-sense)


3. Live Thankfully


4. Be Nicole


5. Be Optimistic


6. Prioritize better


7. Live Healthy


8. Love, Love, Love,


9. React to situations with out emotions ruling. ( 48hr rule )


10. Live more patiently


11. Act how I want to be treated


12. Relax more

A week into my "happiness project"

"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp but, if you will sit down quietly,may alight upon you."-- Nathaniel Hawthorne


So, I am a week into my "happiness project"! I have de-cluttered the office space/front living room.  Next on my "to do list" is the kitchen and my actual closet!  I have been keeping up with my nightly routine of no electronic gadget use after dinner and retiring early to bed by 10pm, with waking up at 6am.  I am a night owl so this has been a challenge but I have been successful! ( ok I have slipped a few times and made it to bed by 10:30 - still good for me!)

I had a wicked busy weekend - so I am a little behind on the to-do list which I plan to tackle the rest of the week.  March I am sure will fly by so I need to get busy.

I have yet to work on my personal 12 commandments but hopefully will do this tomorrow!

So for now - I am getting off this blog in hopes to get a few to-do things accomplished!
Not bad for the 1st week!

Happiness to all :)

Day 1 of My Very Own "Happiness Project"

“What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.”





So I finally received my book – The Happiness Project. As I am in the 1st stages of starting my own “happiness project” I think I am off to a good start! Although I am only in very beginning of the book starting with January’s resolution (yes I know its March) of –Clear My Closets (boosting my energy) I am very much enlightened with how the book fits right into my life! I am also very eager to start with actions. Last night I even made myself go to bed before 10:30 – which is a hard task for me since I am a night owl.

Result: Woke up early, refreshed at 6am, no fighting with the kids – everyone had a great morning and I even had breakfast with them! After they were off to school I got a 40 min workout in and all done before 9am – Plenty of time to tackle more of my “happiness project”!



As she did in the book – I too have decided to start with tackling the visible clutter first. I have re-arranged my office/living room for what I hope is a more suitable functional space. Also as luck would have it - this was a nagging task/to-do list as well.





Tomorrow- off to clean and organize my actual closet so my bedroom is more a bedroom than a place we shove things when cleaning other parts of the house.



Motivational statement of the day from book:






“I am happy- but I’m not as happy as I should be. I have such a good life; I want to appreciate it more – live up to it better.”



“I complain to much, I get annoyed more than I should. I should be more grateful. I think if I felt happier and/or healthier, I’d behave better.”



**healthier- something I personally added to statement that is a must for my “happiness project”



Off to work on my personal Twelve Commandments



NAT

9 Things you can do everyday even if you can't do anything else!

So I am still waiting for the UPS guy to get here and bring me my new book the Happiness Project. I'm thinking I should have just went out and bought it - then again I am very impatient! Maybe patience should be one of my resolutions for the project, Lord knows I need to work on it!

I have yet to come up with all 12 resolutions, I may just use the same ones from the book....we will see..

For nine things you can do every day even if you can't do anything else! (*source-The Happiness Project)

Every day…



1. Make your bed.

2. Wear sunscreen.

3. Wear your seat belt.
4. Jump up and down a few times.

5. Pick up one object that’s in the wrong place and put it away.

6. Go for a ten-minute walk outside.

7. Eat a fruit or vegetable.

8. Put your keys away in the same place.

9. Touch everyone in your house with affection